Happy, happy holidays from the Bold Artist Podcast. We are wishing you the very best holiday season this Christmas 2022. It's such a festive time of year, Charla what's happening around your household right now?
Um, actually this is the time of year when you know the kids are home. We've had the Christmas tree up forever, and we're like settling into the season, like, just like really settling into the season and the day before Christmas Eve... Christmas Eve used to always be my favorite day when I was a kid, but now it's the day before Christmas Eve . And in New Newfoundland where I come from, and I think this might even be a European thing, if there's anybody that has heard this before, let me know. But on the 23rd of December, which is the day this will initially air, um, it is called Tibbs Eve, which is the day before Christmas Eve. I, I should have found out what the actual research and definition of Tibbs Eve was before we started the show, but it's called Tibb's Eve. And in Newfoundland, that was a time when pretty much as everyone would go drinking. It was just an excuse, I think to go party.
Yeah, an extra holiday to add into the mix.
Yeah. Just an extra holiday. So, I'm sure it comes from Ireland somewhere. Um, which is there a lot of our history is English and Irish and Scottish. And so it wasn't something that we really celebrated as a kid, but it was a day when everybody in Newfoundland like actually did something. So, we tried to bring that into our lives, even though we don't live in Newfoundland anymore. So, I'm always finding an excuse to have another, the first party really of Christmas when everything's done, everyone's done work. Kids are home from school. So we have like a little get-together at our house and Christmas on Tibb's Eve. And it's the day before everything starts. And I love Christmas, and we have lots of traditions, and we're usually around family and friends. So, this is where, you know, you're, you're ready. And the excitement is started and the kids are excited and mm-hmm. You know, everything is about to happen. It's full of anticipation.
Marijanel - Yeah.
Charla - So it's one of my favorite days of the year.
And for those watching on YouTube, we'll see that Charlotte is wearing her party shirt. So she's definitely ready for Tibb's Eve
This, this was what we wore for the Bold School Party last Christmas. And we, we were in cahoots to wear it again this, this Christmas season just for you YouTube. So here we are in our party clothes ready to party. But you know, quite honestly, I always look forward to getting into comfy clothes at Christmas.
I was just thinking that.
I was like, I wish that I was in a sweatshirt instead. Although, I love the shirt, I love comfy clothes.
Yeah, So ,that's what I'm looking forward to is like some sweatpants on the couch, cozy sweater, and a blanket, hot drink. Those are some of my favorite parts of, of Christmas is the downtime. Christmas is really different around our household now that our kids are older. And actually ,last Christmas was our very first time experiencing, like, that Steve and I experienced what alone time as a couple because our kids had other plans with significant others. Which, were so happy for them that they can, you know, start to make their own traditions and have their own life experiences. Uh, and we tried, I was, I was, I gave it some forethought and, and had decided like, try to keep myself busy. So, I had made other plans so that Steve and I can start to create our new, like traditions as the kids go out and make their new traditions. But I did end up with some alone time, which was an adjustment. I, I would never want my kids to feel bad because I'm happy for them. So, I don't wanna say I was sad, but I was actually a little sad. I shed a few tears when they all left. I shed a few tears, and Sue's like, What can I do? And I'm like, Did you buy me more presents?
Charla - Always a good one.
Marijanel - Yeah. Buy me more presents. But yeah. Alone time, you know, this is something new for us on the, at the holiday season.
Yeah. Well that's not, I'm, I'm thinking about what it's like as my kids are getting older with a graduated kid this year and another one in grade 11. You know, I still get a few years 'cuz we have still have a 12-year-old. But I remember my, as a kid, like going to university and I went to university on the opposite side of the country as my family But my sister was there, and I remember my very first Christmas morning where I wasn't with my mom and dad. That was like probably what I, it wasn't a lonely Christmas 'cuz I was with my sister and she's married a Greek and a Greek Christmas is lots of fun and very active and energetic.
Kinda like a wedding.
Yeah. Oh yeah. She had a Greek wedding too. So, but it was my first Christmas away from my parents and like our traditions and stuff, and I just remember that lonely feeling of that Christmas. And then the other Christmas I remember that was like, such a weird one was after I had a couple of kids, and we were in Newfoundland, and my husband's dad was visiting for the first time. So, everyone that in our family was like, Wow, we have some foreigners, and we're gonna show them what a new Newfie Christmas is. And every day there was a party, every day there was drinks, and huge amounts of food, and traveling even from town to town, it was insane. And with little kids and just overeating and you were
Probably wishing for alone time
Wishing for alone time
Yeah. Wishing for alone time. I was so overwhelmed. And I'm like, what do you do? You know, Christmas, we put so much expectations around it. And then sometimes you have what you had last year, your first Christmas where you're like, we have to readjust. Our traditions are changing. Or you get one that's unexpectedly super busy, and you can't enjoy it because you're exhausted and you're, we've eaten too much. Um, you know, so it is a real truth around Christmas, and we always try to make it perfect, but I think we need to be honest and say, what are you gonna do when it doesn't go the way you want it to go? Like, what are you gonna do when you are alone and you're, you're sad and lonely like you were last year. Or...
Yeah. I feel bad kids. I'm happy for you
Well, this year you'll probably have adjusted a little bit. Yeah. Um, yeah. And then you kind of get used to your quiet Christmases, and then they get so overwhelming cuz one day you're gonna have a million grandchildren and you'll be like,
Why are you, I'll be like, where's the alone time? I need it.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - And, and here's the thing is it really is about balancing because, um, you know, I'm an mostly an introvert. So, those of you who watch us here on the Bold Artist podcast and you see me and hear me talking and talking, you probably think what? You're an extrovert, and you tell this story of like how you used a microphone when you were little and practiced talking to it. And, and
By yourself though.
That's such an extrovert quality you would think. But actually introvert extrovert has to do with where you recharge, how you recharge. How you refuel. And I refuel alone, but then I take my fuel out into my public work.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - My, my what seems to be charismatic personality, but I don't recharge out there. I pour it all out when I'm doing this, but I will need alone time to recharge. And so I think what happens at Christmas is that I still need alone time when, when you describe the overwhelm, like overwhelms a big dinners and parties and you know, socializing, it's all such a part of it that we look forward to. But for the introvert, we need, like, give me some alone time and you almost wanna hide in your closet so that you can just recuperate.
Yeah. Recharge, Like, lie on your bed and watch a TV show. Like, you just need to be alone for half a minute.
Yeah. And then in the same breath that I say that, if you are actually alone without the connection, that that can be difficult and challenging. And so you need both. And, um, so I'm curious, Charla, this, this topic was on your heart. You, you talked, um, pre-show just, you know, about like, hey Marijanel, how did it feel to adjust to some alone time? And, and what are people going through out there who are either overwhelmed and need alone time or feeling alone, but what is the connection for you, um, between like our alone time and the artists who are listening? Like what, where's that connection that how we can encourage artists, the artists that are listening who might be alone?
Yeah, I think I'd like to kind of talk about ways that we can use alone time for good. 'Cuz I think that it can be good. I think one of the biggest things to recognize is that as soon as you're alone, introvert or extrovert, if you don't have a device, especially, or if you're just sick of your device and suddenly you're just sitting there and you're alone, um, we get a little bit too introspective, you know, and we start, uh, giving ourselves a lot of negative self-talk. I think that's pretty much what everybody does. It's kind of, I think guys and girls of all ages, if you haven't recognized it in yourself, you can do a lot of self, negative self-talk. And in that you start thinking, Well, I'm not good enough. You know, I'm, I'm alone so I'm definitely not good enough. And you start, you start thinking along those lines too much, and it makes it scary to be alone because why would you wanna be alone with someone like you?
You know, if you're talking to yourself like that. And a lot of people do cuz they don't, they don't recognize that voice and, and don't really know how to get it to stop. So, I think one of the first things to do if you are alone, especially if you can't do anything about it, or if you're overwhelmed, and you need alone time, but you're scared of it, uh, I think one of the first things to do is to recognize that that negative voice that's in you and figure out ways to quiet it. Like, you need to recognize that you are good enough. And you're, you're so good that you can actually be alone with yourself and enjoy it. Like, you can start to trust yourself and start to ask yourself for advice and start trusting your answers. You don't need to go to others to get advice for the things that you should do and start, um, start talking positively and trusting yourself.
And then you can start thinking about, uh, how alone time can actually be powerful and fulfilling and can actually fill your soul up and get rid of why a lot of us battle with different, different kinds of depression. But I think a lot of us battle with... When we're alone, you feel depressed and you feel sad because of a lot of the different thoughts that go through your head. But as soon as you allow yourself to have that time to, or to recognize how to fill your bucket up or fill your soul up, when you're alone, you can actually become, you know, stronger and wiser and fill yourself, fill yourself up. So, you have more to give when you go out with other people. And there's ways to do it. And as an artist, I believe that those ways can make us more creative, and can give us the opportunity to make the art that we dream of with purpose. And, um, you have something credible to show the world when we come out of that time so we can use that alone time for good. Not be afraid of it.
Absolutely. So just understanding you are good enough, you're good enough alone.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - You're good enough on your own. You are enough. Trusting yourself. I love that you made the connection between alone time and trusting yourself and trusting yourself for answers. Um, and um,
So you can talk to yourself, and not in the crazy way.
But you can talk to yourself about ideas, and instead of me calling you up on Christmas Eve and saying, What should I serve my guests for dinner? How about I just make that decision?
Marijanel - Yeah.
Charla - You know, trust yourself and make decisions. You are wise, you've been on the earth, you know a little bit. So, for a minute here you've been on the earth so you can make good choices. You don't need others all the time to make those choices. Yeah,
Yeah. For sure. So, um, you also said one of the things that you love about alone time is people watching?
Yeah. I think. And when you're alone, but you know, sometimes, like for instance, if you're, if it's Christmas time, and you're not with your family or maybe you don't have family that you want to be with and you're, you're alone a lot over Christmas, you can go out, like just go downtown, sit at the ice rink or go to a restaurant, have lunch by yourself, go to movie by yourself. Which I actually find really hard no matter how healthy of a state I'm in. Yeah. I find it hard to do those things alone, but I do love people watching. So
This is, Oh sorry, say more about people watching before I interject.
Yeah. But when do you realize, you know, you're, you're good enough by yourself, you're actually, you don't... I don't look at people alone and judge them. I mean, I'm sure some people might, but we don't necessarily go out and look at people alone and then start judging them.
Marijanel - Right.
Charla - You are good enough alone. So go out there alone and sit down and start watching people and learning what they're doing. You know, like just watching their interactions. Think about them, study them, and not to judge, but to actually gain knowledge about humankind and relationships.
Marijanel - Absolutely.
Charla - And this will also go into your art because you're studying and you're learning.
Well, I love it that we're talking about this because I don't know if I've admitted in public yet that I am totally a people watcher.
I love people watching.
But I think I need to dive into that topic a little bit more. Just like finding out what's, what's in me and why I love this so much. But that's what I'd love to do. Like, why I love to travel alone. Because if I have a long layover in an airport, particularly, like, one that's not in the middle of the night, but one where I'm alert, I'm not disappointed because I find a spot to sit at my gate and I people watch.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - And I will watch people getting off their flight and like, Oh, I like her shoes and Oh interesting. And oh, people really do wear their pajamas to the airport. And I just, people watch and it's not judging, it's just like the curiosity.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - Is very satisfied by people watching. But, um, this reminds me, uh, this past autumn in our bold school community, we uh, went through the book The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. And in the book she talks about having an artist date, and what she means is to actually go on a date with yourself, yourself as an artist.
Be alone as an artist
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - On a date. And we had, um, Bold School community, um, members were posting pictures of their artists' dates. It was so fun to see what they chose to do. Go to galleries, go to coffee shops, go to other art studios. It was really fun to see the artist's dates. But it's a perfect example of how an artist can get comfortable with like, using alone time to benefit themselves as an artist.
Yeah. And you think differently and you, you intake things differently when you're alone once you get over the discomfort or the awkwardness that you feel. 'Cuz I feel that I love being alone, but alone in public is a whole different story. So, but when you're,
I usually say party time, I'm alone, but that lasts for two hours, then I'm ready for everyone to come back.
Yeah. You're ready for more people
I just find that the conversations are different when you're with people. Right. So, when you're with people, it's say you're people watching, but you're with somebody else. So, you're having a conversation with the people you see, you start interacting, you start hearing what that, what your friend is saying sometimes can become more judgmental, a little bit more gossipy because you, you start making fun of people that you're seeing and, and what not, but when you're alone, you intake it differently, and your thoughts are quicker, and you're making judgements, and you're making, like, I make up stories in my mind about, oh, where are they coming from and what are those people doing? And how long have they been in the airport for?
Yeah. So you, you think differently when you are alone, It's not really that one is better than the other, it's that we don't really do that. We don't intentionally spend time alone. So, intentionally spending time alone is what you need when you're overwhelmed. If you are alone, then you just gotta believe that this is good. You can use it for good.
And you can use it. Now one of the things, uh, that I love to do when I'm alone, and it's almost the only time I can do this, is to learn.
Charla - Yes
Marijanel - And uh, last week we talked all about the, the joy of hobby, the word that you don't like Charla, but we talk all about the joy of hobby and how um, you know, it's just like this something we do in our leisure to give us a break from what is our hustle. Um, but the, the aspect that we didn't talk about last week in that conversation was the whole learning aspect. Because actually whether something is hobby or hustle, you end up learning. And I get great joy from learning in both scenarios. Like, the work style learning where I have to get better at the skill 'cuz it like my livelihood depends on it.
Charla - Yeah.
Marijanel - But also the joy of learning something new in a hobby fills my soul up. But what's interesting that I've noted about myself is that I learn best when I'm alone.
Charla - Yes. Me, too.
Marijanel - Because I'm not self-aware, or I'm not aware of the other person or other people's, uh, presence. 'Cuz I tend to like, you know, cater to everyone else and you know, I'm just
And have conversations. Right? Yeah.
Yeah. But when I'm alone and I can sink in, um, I just like love to learn. So, a lot of times when, you know, the household is empty for the afternoon, I'll just be like, what YouTube channel am I gonna turn on and learn something new?
Charla - Yeah, me too.
Marijanel - Or, you know, what online course can I learn? Which is why I think that a lot of our Bold School students are even thriving in, in their painting practice, but they're not doing it necessarily with, you know, everyone around them. We see everyone alone. They're learning, they're taking our courses in their alone time, which is amazing that they would spend their time with us.
Yeah. I know. I, I actually do think that's pretty amazing. But I think I have the same, I have the same story when I'm alone and I can really dig into something and, you know, you're, you are, you're not, you don't need to be aware of anybody or anything around you. You're not distracted with conversations. You can just really dig into that. You can take notes, you can read the book that's going along with the study or whatever it is that you're doing. And I can learn. And I find there's some days, like during the week, if I've had a couple of really busy weeks, and I can't stay on task, you know, just cuz I'm tired, I'm mentally tired, um, I'm drained. Like you're, it actually just drains working hard and working long days and spending time with family and friends and being out there and at Christmas time, this is like one of the prime times just to happen.
You, all of your stuff gets drained out of you.
Marijanel - Yeah.
Charla - And you've got nothing left to give. So, one of my favorite things to do is to sit alone in my studio and, uh, set, set something out, either a course that I've purchased and I've been waiting for the right time or a YouTube series or podcast series and take it in. And then what it does is it fills you back up. with all the good stuff. And I mean, learning is good because you're learning things that you can pour out into your business or into your art, but um, I just find there's something about it that rejuvenates you, and it feeds you like sunshine and fertilizer, you know, it fills you up and you go back out to the Christmas party the next day and now you've got some energy that you can drain out of you again.
So, during your alone time this Christmas or the alone time that you want to have this Christmas, you can just log into boldschool.com and take one of our new classes that, and, and also keep in mind we have all kinds of exciting new classes launching in the new year, 2023. So, stay tuned for that so much. Make sure that you're on our new newsletter list through boldschool.com to get all the updates of what's coming out in the new year. In closing, do you have any last remarks, Charla?
Well, I think when you do all those things and you spend, then, then you, you've got yourself together. You're comfortable, you're in your own skin and you're spending time learning and filling up your, your buckets and your souls. You know, you can start making plans for your future and you can start, uh, having something to aim at, to take aim at and really go after. If, when you learn and you've, you've, you've filled yourself up with thoughts and ideas and you're trusting yourself, and you get, you get plans. You know, and you have goals in the future, and then you can start, which, which gives you purpose is what I'm trying to say these types of things start giving you purpose. And when you have purpose, you can now go and create amazing things. So, if you're an artist and you wanna make art and you, you don't really even know how to make art, you don't know what to make art about, a lot of the things that we've just talked about are ways that fill you up and give you ideas and give you purpose, and now you're motivated and you're energized to go out and create.
And if you still have alone time left over Christmas or the New Year, then go and spend those endless hours making amazing things. You know, what better opportunity than a whole day or a week where you can just hunker down and create, create, create.
Yeah. What can you learn? What can you create? And just remember, you are not alone. We love to say that here on the Bold Artist Podcast that we're with you, and we're here to support you and give artists voices. Um, we so appreciate you being here on our journey through 2022 and even before, during our first season. You have all been such amazing, loyal followers. It this podcast and Bold School has gone beyond our wildest dreams. So thank you so much. And may your holiday season be bright, may you have peace, and know that we here at Bold School love you. And until next time, keep creating
And Merry Christmas.